Spiders in My Pants

Yesterday a friend of mine told me all of my adventures made her unsettlingly envious. Her statement caught me pretty off guard. Understanding where she was coming from I disagreed, ensuring her that I was merely a great story teller. Not to toot my own horn (I can’t be the only one who finds that phrase slightly sexual), but I tell a damn good story. However, I think we all have the potential to have experiences worth writing about. Often it’s the mystical aspect of my stories that intrigue people - the sparkle in my eye when I mention a restaurant I found by following a path of butterflies, or the business opportunity I encountered just by sparking up a conversation with someone I made repeated eye contact with. There’s something deep within the soul that begins to tremor when we hear stories like this. Events choreographed so beautifully it gives you chills to hear about them… because you know a larger force was at play. And that’s where the magic lies. But here’s the thing amigos… that force (God, Spirit, or the more cuddly term... The Universe) is attempting to make its way into your life too. You don’t have to be aware of it. You don’t even have to believe in it. Pero like irregardlessly, there’s something attempting to help you orchestrate the magnificent symphony that is your life.

Now of course, there’s a catch... you have to listen. What good is having Beethoven on speed dial if the call won’t go through. You’d just be sittin' in your room flicking boogers and writing twinkle twinkle little star. Not that that isn't a BANGER… but it’s no Moonlight Sonata. Also, I realize Beethoven wouldn’t known what the fuck speed dial was, let alone a telephone, but for arguments sake let’s pretend he’s more tech savvy than a San Francisco hipster.

Most often I end up in story-worthy situations because I listened to the soft whisper of the Universe. Following it’s guidance I find myself somewhere I couldn't possibly have created entirely on my own. It’s worth mentioning 99% of the time I have no fucking clue where it’s leading me. Most times I feel like an overly confident annoying millennial who frequently says things like “time is just a social construct” and “none of this is really matters”.

But sometime’s you need that naive trust. So many of us have lost our sense of wonder. In order to have Faith we demand proof.This, though, is the antithesis of Faith… it’s Fear. To dismiss Faith because of Fear and Doubt defeats the very purpose of Faith. Hear me out… imagine you’re attempting to take a large box from the second floor of your house out to a moving van outside. You pick up the box and walk over to the stair case, but the box is so large you can’t see ahead of you or below you. You began to feel nervous, not knowing how you will get down the stairs without being able to see the steps… even though you know they’re there. But if you fall is it because the step wasn’t there? Of course not. It’s because you didn’t believe it was. You didn’t trust yourself. If you were to stay in this fear space, falling over and over again, you would never make it out to the moving van. You’d remain stagnant. But remember… the stairs are still there even when you can’t see them. All you need is a little Faith.

Faith is following your intuition. It’s taking a leap without knowing if anything is there to catch you, but trusting you’ll be okay. It’s hearing the call of the Universe and actually listening. I’m not advocating for listening to the voices in your head - except I am. Not all of them obvi. Some of those hoes be lying and that shit cray (ain’t it Jay?).

There’s an art to determining how the Universe communicates to you, I believe it’s different for us all. I, for example, have the lovely pleasure of receiving messages through spiders. This was not ideal when in the middle of the Amazon because the spiders were, to put it eloquently, bigger than a dinosaur dick. (Quick question… anyone know the average T-Rex wiener size? Cuz like, their hands and arms weren’t exactly large and there might be a weird correlation or something and the dinosaurs had some lame dad joke like “you know what they say about a small wingspan Ted” and in reality the T-Rex wasn’t mean he was just lashing out because he felt inadequate and my analogy could have no credibility amongst my Cretaceous period audience which would be unfortunate because I strive to be inclusive and relatable.)

Anyway.. back to the arachnids. When I was in the Amazon and found Aragog in a pair of shorts I was about to put on, the last thing I thought was “Oh, a spider, how lovely. Must be a message from the Universe.” Nah dawg. I threw my shorts out of my hut and screamed like I just found out I missed my period (Too dark?). I wasn’t aware yet that this was one way my lovely Spirit Guides wanted to communicate to me. But then I began to see them everywhere. I’d constantly walk through spider webs, open my front door late at night to have one drop down right in front of my face, receive a SEALED letter and have one crawl out of the envelope as I opened it. Sure, I could have dismissed this as coincidence. Spiders are an abundant creature… it isn’t all that shocking to be seeing them frequently. But instead, I stepped into wonder and started to pay attention. Every time I saw a spider I checked in with what was going on internally. 9 times out of 10 I was being suuuuuper impatient and frustrated. Eventually I looked into what spiders represent spiritually. Anyone have a guess? Yes.. you there in the back. What was that? Complacence? No? Oh.. PATIENCE?

Yeah bitch. Patience. And it makes sense. Think of the amount of time it takes for a spider to craft it’s web. Without rush or worry she weaves a home within which she will wait. She does not try, force, or control. She practices Patience and Faith, knowing all she needs is coming to her and that she will be provided for.

Holy foreshadowing Batman, I should have seen that coming.

Hopefully you’re beginning to see the picture I am painting here… although I’ve had an entire bottle of wine and to be honest now I’m not even sure what this is.

But in all seriousness, the Universe really does talk to us all. When you listen, the simple becomes magnificent. The mundane, exciting. The terrifying, liberating. You don’t have to participate much to have the conversation, but the more you do the more magical the discussion becomes.

So the next time you feel that tug at your heart, that flutter of intuition, that burst of inspiration, I invite you to go with it. There is magic being revealed to us in every moment, and it is up to us to pay attention, to listen, and to have Faith. We are surrounded by an intelligence that wants to see us thrive, blossom, and shine. You are never alone. You are never separate. You are never forgotten. You are loved.

Wonderful things are flowing to you, always. I can’t wait to hear about them.